by Zöe | Sep 15, 2017 | Featured, Guest Post, How to Trans, Reviews
The following is a guest post about STP (stand-to-pee) devices by Kelvin Sparks. He is a bi, polyamorous, and intersex trans man who writes about sex, sexuality, and sex toys. Check Kelvin out over at his website, CyborgDicks.com
A STP (Stand To Pee device) is, as the name suggests, a device that allows AFAB people to pee while standing up. For transmasculine people, they can serve as a way to combat dysphoria or for practical reasons, as it allows us to use urinals.
I do want to make it clear that while many trans men and other transmasculine people use STP devices to help relieve dysphoria, a person of any gender can use one. Using an STP, feeling dysphoria relieved at using an STP, or wanting to try an STP device has no bearing on your gender. While I am writing this from the perspective of a (mostly binary) trans man, the information in this is predominantly factual, and (I hope!) will still be useful.
On the flip side, if you are a trans man or otherwise transmasculine and do not enjoy using an STP, this is valid. While an STP can make accessing male bathrooms easier, as it can allow for urinal use, you will almost certainly not be outed because of your choice not to use a urinal, and your choice not to use one has no bearing on your gender. You are not a “fake man” or “fake trans person” for not wanting to or not enjoying using an STP device. Each person’s experiences is different, and nobody can tell you that your experiences or emotions are invalid or wrong.
If you’re experimenting with STP devices, and gendered marketing of products doesn’t bother you, devices intended for and marketed towards cis women may be more accessible to you than STP devices targeted at transmasculine people. Examples of this style of STP include the (unfortunately named and painfully marketed) GoGirl, the Shewee, and the pStyle.
For the most part, these types of STP devices are not going to be useful for people who want an STP that makes being able to use a urinal possible. Because of their non-representational forms, they may also not help with some people’s dysphoria, and their size and bulkiness generally makes them less portable than STP devices marketed towards and intended for transmasculine people. However, because they’re intended to be held over pretty much all of your anatomy, they are compatible with most people’s particulars in terms of anatomy and stream. Additionally, if you’re in an environment where you can’t be out yet, they have some deniability attached to them. You can potentially excuse them as for travel, or for hiking, or for outdoor sport if questioned by somebody who you don’t feel safe being out to.
Generally, there’s two styles of STP device targeted specifically at transmasculine people- “medicine spoon” (or funnel) style devices, and “nipple” style ones. This has to do with the shape of the receptacle you press against your genitals and pee into, and both derive their names from DIY solutions that trans men in the past have come up with, and have passed into trans legend since.
The latter – which I have never tried and have only heard rumours of – comes from the process of cutting the end off a baby bottle nipple, then gluing this nipple to some rubber tubing. The former- which I have tried and which did work for me- involves cutting a hole in the end of a medicine spoon’s handle, and using the cup of the spoon to pee into.
If you’re comfortable touching your genitalia, I would advise you get a decent idea of what anatomy you have, because this impacts how your genitalia interface with an STP. It can be unpleasant, especially because part of figuring out your anatomical specifics means touching your genitalia when urinating, but it really does help in the long run. I promise. Peeing standing up in the shower is probably the best way to figure this out. Try to ask yourself these questions:
Where exactly is your urethra? When you pee without an assistive device, where does the stream go? Is your urine stream caught up in the labia minora?
If your urine stream comes straight out, you will probably have better luck with nipple style STPs than a person whose stream becomes caught up in their labia minora. Nipple style receptacles are generally more comfortable and easier to pocket (if not attached to a packer), but must be placed more precisely in order to create a full seal, and stop accidents happening. This also requires more interaction with your anatomy, which some people might find triggers their dysphoria.
For those with a more unruly flow, or for those who want minimal interaction with their anatomy, spoon style STPs are likely to work better. However, it still requires some aiming to ‘dock’ correctly, and there is a potential risk that a seal may not be formed. This is especially the case if you have particularly large labia minora.
I don’t actually know of any commercially available STP devices that use the nipple style receptacle that aren’t also functional as packers. There are a few spoon style STP devices that aren’t packers, but are phallic in form and marketed towards transmasculine people. This includes the Mr. Fenis STP, which is phallic enough to pass the urinal test, has a wide tube, and can be folded up into a pocket after use.
Mr. Fenis STP
For STP Packers- that is STP devices that can also be used for soft packing- there are several options. Alongside specifically designed and produced STP Packers, you can also find and purchase modifications of existing packers (normally the Mr. Softie/ Mr. Limpy), both with nipple style (like the Fitz STP) and spoon style (like the Mango STP) receptacles. Because these are adapted from non-silicone packers, they tend to not last as long as silicone based STP packers. Additionally, for those who want to pack and use an STP to help with dysphoria, the weight of silicone and the fact it absorbs body heat may make it more useful for this, as it can feel more “real.”
Urinall STP Packer
Silicone STP packers are available at a variety of price points, and with differing levels of realism. Some of the many available include the Sam STP from New York Toy Collective, the EZP from Transthetics, and the selection of STP packers available from Number One Laboratory.
No matter how much thought you put into choosing an STP that fits your anatomy, it will be odd to start with. You will likely find placing it awkward and you will likely end up peeing on your legs instead of in the toilet. I’d suggest first trying an STP out in the shower, without any clothes on. This means that if your aim isn’t correct, or if you don’t place the STP correctly, it can be cleaned up pretty easily. Once you’re confident with this, I’d suggest moving on to trying to pee in your toilet at home without clothes, then with clothes, and then public restrooms. Because every STP is different, it’s probably worth familiarizing yourself in this way if you get a new or different model, even if you have used an STP before- I found using the Mr. Fenis and using the Mango were totally different experiences, and having some practice for both before using them outside was helpful.
While the efficacy of STP devices at combating dysphoria varies, I’ve found using one helps me significantly. If you have dysphoria relating to not being able to stand to pee (or even if you don’t and are curious- sometimes we don’t know dysphoria is happening until it’s gone), if’s definitely worth giving it a try, and I hope this post is useful for you. If you’ve tried an STP, and have more advice to give, or have specific products that have worked for you, please do let me know!
by Zöe | Jul 16, 2017 | How to Trans, My Story
When I first came out to myself as a transgender woman, there had already been a lot of research about hormones, surgeries, and boobs. I had been lurking on the Ask Transgender subreddit where I read about so many other trans sister’s stories. Their tales of success, heartbreak, new awkward social situations, coming out, being accepted, being evicted, made me feel less alone as much as it made me cry and cheer for them. But it also gave me insight into several possible paths my transition (or non-transition) might take. Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT) is highly regarded as a major milestone for transition, and towards becoming who you want to be. I’m not against HRT, but you should know that if you can’t or don’t want to begin HRT – you don’t have to do it. You are not any less of a woman if you choose not to or can’t for whatever reason take HRT, present female, or have surgeries. You own your body. You are a woman, and no one can tell you otherwise.
I knew between gate-keeping and financial costs, HRT was a long way off (and I still want to do it). Among my first priorities for handling how I felt about my body being AMAB (assigned male at birth), were body hair management and my body shape. When I closed my eyes and try to picture who I am on the inside, it wasn’t always a lady. But when I looked in the mirror, I’ve always known something was wrong. I never believed I was beautiful or even moderately attractive. I always assumed people liked me because sometimes I was funny or charming. It wasn’t until my wife that I felt like someone found me physically attractive, so it was tough when I was ready to tell her that I wanted to change my body. But I knew she’d love me and find me attractive no matter what – so I was confident coming out to her.
One of the things that has plagued me growing up is a good bit of gynecomastia – which is the medical term for enlarged non-cancerous cellulose growth in AMAB breast tissue. I don’t like terms like “Man boobs” (or its plentiful variations that were used to tease me while simultaneously boosting the idea that women = bad and anything woman-related should not be a feature of a man). On the other hand, its great for cleavage. If you don’t have much to work with, that’s OK. I know I have some, and I grow more attached to it everyday. My own “pre-boobs” even before HRT.
When I first started presenting female, I didn’t own anything feminine and borrowed literally everything until I was gifted some items I still use. My first bra was my wife’s with extenders because I needed something with a large band size. It also had sizeable cups (DD) that needed filling. I had seen enough teen movies to know that socks might work, but I’d have to be careful so as to not make my new faux boobies all lumpy (it happened more than once). The other problem with socks is that with anything revealing, while my boobs might look good, there’s a good chance a sock might slip into view (it happened more than once). Expect to be embarrassed in general from time to time at the awkwardness that is learning to present female. Guess what, everyone’s adolescence was awkward and embarrassing, because their bodies were new to them as they changed. It’s OK. You will recover, you will learn what works best for you. Don’t beat yourself up too much, OK?
Finding A Bra That Fits You
I’m not going to rehash all the steps for measuring yourself for a bra, but another amazingly helpful subreddit /r/ABraThatFits has the very useful Bra Size Calculator, which has been recently updated for AMAB people! As for folks not on HRT like myself, this is useful for seeing where your breasts are at currently, but if you’re going to be enhancing the ladies anyway, we’re mostly interested in what band size is comfortable. That’s typically a measurement of the complete material that’s going to surround your torso horizontally. Cup size is going to be down to your preference and body frame shape. Although if you’ve got a little to work with like me, you also have to account for how much of you is going to be occupying that cup, too.
I Want Busty Cleavage, Dammit
I had never really thought about the logistics of bras and the boobs that go in them before I decided I wanted a set of both. In my inner imaginings of what I’d look like had I been born a cis woman, my frame lends itself towards larger tits. Its my own preference. You can look gorgeous no matter what size you prefer on yourself. But sometimes, I want busty cleavage and to have people look and go “Oh daaaaamn.”
One of the first upgrades I made from socks was a cheap pair of Wal-mart brand bra inserts. I’m not going to link to them here because they’re nothing special. I think they cost me about $5 and they were labeled C/D. They didn’t really do much, it was just a pair of cup-shaped cloth pouches filled with a silicon gel.
The second upgrade I made was a strapless, backless, adhesive push-up bra that you can basically stick to each of your boobs and then pull them together and clasp them up front and it gives you a little cleavage automatically, even if you’re not working with much. The one I bought (again, at Wal-mart) ran about $10 and was cheap as hell. I literally broke the clasp within the first five minutes. That said, you can still use them as breast forms and even at the same time as the bra inserts. They’re small, discreet, and I also put them on without the bra inserts for swimming.
What you want is a higher quality item with good reviews from somewhere like Amazon:
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There’s a pretty good tutorial video on YouTube for creating cleavage with the NuBra and it should work even if you don’t have much gynecomastia:
[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WMx1Zr-x10s&has_verified=1&w=640&h=385]
What About Duct Tape?
Taping in general works for a lot of cross-dressers and folks who are into drag, but please, for the love of all things boobs, DO NOT DUCT TAPE YOUR BARE CHEST! Even if you shave beforehand, extended use of duct tape is going to irritate your skin and hurt like a bitch when you take it off. I made this mistake once. ONCE. I had a sore chest and nipples for 3 days straight. Use some gauze, or better yet just get something like the above adhesive bra. It’s better for your body. I have not yet found a medical tape or similar less-abrasive tape that actually holds my tits together that doesn’t eventually give out.
Breast Forms: Probably the Closest Thing Short of Surgery
A common but not cheap option for simulating larger breasts is to use silicone forms that are typically adhesive or come with straps. They’re used by cross-dressers, drag queens, breast cancer survivors, and people who just want a little extra in their bra cups. Since breast forms have been largely too expensive for me to fit into my personal budget, I haven’t owned a pair of these yet. The closest I’ve come is the broken silicone strapless push-up. They operate similarly though, with a concave inner area for the form to fit over your existing breast tissue. I can’t recommend any since I haven’t tried them yet, but here are some I’ve been eyeing at a few different price ranges:
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There are lots of different options out there that vary on price and quality. You can get forms that match your skin tone for easier blending with make-up, forms that feel realistic, forms with or without nipples, and some that come as part of an entire chest piece that goes up to your neck and shoulders (better for colder climates with warmer dress). Typically anything over a D cup is going to come with straps or will have to be worn in a pocketed or full-coverage bra due to the support requirements. Not every breast form is safe for swimming, and typically it’s not recommended that you leave them on for over 8 hours at a time. You should check the documentation for your product and make sure you are aware of it’s cleaning and care requirements.
Blending and Contouring With Makeup
If you’ve already started with make-up, chances are you’re already aware of how to contour your face and enhance or mitigate different features. With breast forms, it’s likely that if you wear anything with cleavage where the forms can be seen, you’ll want to contour and blend the edges of your breast forms to match your skin tone. This can be done pretty simply with some of your foundation and a slightly darker color for shadow. Apply the foundation to the edge of your breast forms once you have them on and a bra (optional). Then, even if you’re not using breast forms – with your darker shadow color, highlight the corners of your cleavage and draw it out some. It makes your cleavage look awesome!
This is another YouTuber who follows the nu-bra plus push-up / forms formula, so I skipped ahead to the make-up portion on contouring cleavage:
[youtube https://youtu.be/fHCivtRM6q8?t=72&w=640&h=385]
Dysphoria Versus Society
It was really hard for me to finally accept that I will not pass at first, and that passing is not the end-all of being a woman. Before you get wrapped up like I did in finding the perfect way to get awesome tits and catapult into womanhood, find a way to understand that you are real. You are valid. You do not need boobs to qualify. It helps some women with dysphoria, but not necessarily all women. I wrote this guide to help other AMAB people who might be just finding their way like me. You can also use these tips if you’ve already started HRT, or maybe you’re non-binary. This is really for any AMAB who just wants boobs.
A few handy tips:
- Massage your breast tissue in slow circles for 10-15 minutes several times a day.
- Be wary of herbal supplements and creams that claim to help encourage breast growth.
- Again, avoid duct tape
- Breast form manufacturers typically sell or endorse a medical grade adhesive for helping breast forms stay in place longer.
- If you get a strapless adhesive bra like the NuBra, make sure it is high quality and well-reviewed.
I’m pretty happy with my boob setup at the moment, though I’d like to try several kinds of breast forms and see how they work with the clothes I own. Tell me in the comments below about your “best breast” tips or products that have worked for you! Do you have a favorite bra that makes the girls look incredible that feels comfy to wear? Let me know!